Fix a heart
by ljones
Summary: Clare has a secret that she's keeping away from Eli, is it time to tell him or even show him? HARMFUL, MAYBE DISTURBING?... Eli and Clare have been together for 2 years in this fanfiction. Written in Clare's perspective.


**Hey,**  
><strong>this is my first shot at an Degrassi fanfiction, I'm pretty new on trying on the roles of Eli and Claire and I know they are well educated so its in a long shot that I can portray these roles in this fanfiction.<strong>  
><strong>I have other fanfictions and usually stick to them but I had an idea which I wanted to have a shot at, please be nice!<strong>  
><strong>So I have heard of Degrassi by my friend who lives in Canada, but as I live in England and only a few months ago caught up with the show in less than a few weeks from season 1 to the newest season. Please forgive me from mistakes.<strong>

**Hopefully you give this a chance and I will try and update every so often, probably be once every week or even twice, depending on when I have a chance to since I'm in college and working a lot. **  
><strong>Hope you like this<strong>. **Oh and the next chapters wouldn't be as short as this!**  
>- <em>LJ<em>

* * *

><p>Eli's hands surfaced my skin as they slowly traced up my body, itching my jacket off from my small frame. His eagerness was edging us to go further as the heat that was radiating from our bodies overwhelmed me. My abstinence ring ached on my finger in reminder of my promise. Although I knew that taking mine and Eli's relationship to the next level was something that has been playing upon my mind for over a year. Our 2 year anniversary was coming up and I knew that Eli could not hold off until we was married, I wanted to show him how much I loved him before he decided he was fed up of my purity.<p>

"Eli...we can't" I gasped as he kissed my neck, slowly sucking my skin to create an Eli love bite. His plan was to excite me. His hands caught my fragile wrists to stop my wining. His lips twitched into his trademark smirk that I loved. I gasped and winced as the pain jolted through me. _Claire, Stop!_

"Eli" I pulled back from him as his lips found mine. I looked directly into his emerald eyes as I cradled my wrist close to my body

"Claire what's wrong?" Eli's handsome face was written with worry

"Did I...?" He stared at my wrist, he thought he did this to me. He believed that the grip that he had upon them was what hurt me.

"No...It wasn't you" I paused for a moment

"I just want to wait" I said as I let go of my wrist and climbed from my bed and turned to Eli

"I just need a minute" I shot a small smile at him as I quickly hurried to my bathroom. I felt guilty leaving Eli alone as I hurried to the bathroom; I knew he felt as if it was his fault and that he was pushing me too far. It pained me to know that I had hurt him like that. My tears began to stream down my face as I stared at my reflection in front of me. My newly messed up makeup was smeared down my face, eyeliner was causing my eyes to look like panda eyes as they was all puffy and bloodshot with black around them. My breathing was irregular as my hands shook tightening my hold that I had on the skin. My wrists ached sending jolting pains as I moved my sleeves up to reveal the opened up scars. I closed my eyes as I let the blood run down my arms before the pain disappeared.

"Claire? Are you okay?" Eli's voice called from the other side of the door

"Yes... I'll be out there in a minute" I smiled as my voice didn't betray me.

I quickly washed my face and dried it trying to calm my nerves. _Claire. Pull yourself together! _My inner conscience screamed at me. I knew it was a stupid mistake that I let slip, I promised myself to never of let this happen. _Claire, your boyfriend is on the other side of this door_. The reminder of Eli's face made me change into a vulnerable girl that I knew I always was, _Saint Claire. _The bitter laugh escaped my lips before I turned to open the door, I was never this 'Saint Claire' I had the proof of the new and old scars that covered my arms in vertical patterns. I took a deep breath and opened the door to Eli standing outside leaning against the wall opposite to the doorframe.

"Hey" I said in a weak voice, I placed my best smile on my face and walked towards him

"Claire, tell me I didn't hurt you" His eyes burned deep into mine as I looked up into his

"Eli, I told you already! It wasn't you, you have nothing to worry about" I lean up and kiss his lips softly as Eli's arms found my waist pulling me closer before placing his hand on my cheek, he pulled back and creased my cheek with his hand

"You've been crying" He didn't ask, but stated. I knew with Eli I couldn't always hide everything, although my deepest secret has been managed to stay hidden for 2 years amazed me. Eli knew near enough everything about me, this insignificant girl that stood before him. I knew it was selfish of me but I loved him, I fell madly and stupidly in love with this gothic complete opposite intriguing guy before me.

"I'm fine now" I tell him to clarify how I was feeling. I didn't like him worrying about me. He had nothing to worry about.


End file.
